wittiest-thingsYou’re only young once, but you can be immature forever. – Germaine Greer

You know you’re old when somebody compliments you on your alligator shoes and you’re barefoot. – Phyllis Diller

At age eighty-two, I sometimes feel like a twenty-year-old, but there’s seldom one around. – Milton Berle

I refuse to admit that I’m older than fifty-two, even if that makes my sons illegitimate. – Lady Nancy Astor

At my age, flowers scare me. – George Burns

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson where you find the present tense and the past perfect. – Unknown

From the chapter on Aging in The 2,548 

Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said, selected

and compiled by Robert Byrne. New York :

Simon & Schuster, 2012.

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